Dear Blog Reader
I am trying to raise £200 to buy a new bed. I need your help. This is why.
As you may know, I was recently involved in a Road Traffic Accident. A very careless taxi driver turning blindly at a junction hit me as I was cycling home from New Cross to Hackney one evening.
I have back, shoulder injuries and quite a severe neck injury as a result. I also have an incredibly soft, uncomfortable bed that is exacerbating my discomfort, making it difficult to sleep and, more often than not, causing me to wake up in pain. As I live in rented accommodation, I have asked my land lady if she would be able to provide a new bed for me, as the one I currently sink in to each night is obviously deleterious. But, alas, she will only replace my shit one with a newer version of the same shit one. Alternatively I have been given the go ahead to provide my own bed. As, as I think I mentioned earlier, I was recently hit by a car. Due to my injuries I am unable to work and am on benefits until things improve. In other words, I currently cannot afford to buy myself a new bed.
This is my tragedy. *violins*
So, this is where I propose something to your good selves.
I am asking 20 people to lend me £10 each with the money going towards buying me a nice firm bed that won’t cause me to wake up in tears. In return for your £10, you will receive a handmade, personalised, editioned and signed IOU voucher (which may or may not be worth something someday, depending on how impressive you find my CV) containing a receipt and a pledge from me to return your money to you by 31st December 2011. When I return your cash, you will also receive a photograph of my new bed in situ to prove I’ve not gone and squandered your hard-earned money on crack or the proverbial dogs.
I would like to emphasise that you would be lending me a tenner, I’m not asking for donations or sponsorship. You will get your money back. At some point.
To conclude, I would be so very extremely grateful if you would contribute to this and help me to recover. I am in all seriousness suffering very much and somewhat unnecessarily.
Please contact me at email@example.com
or DM me on Twitter